What did you do?
Why haven't you shown anything of your feelings for so long? Did you mean to make a fool of me in front of everyone? Or do you have no feelings? I would trust you to do both without further ado.
How long have you been laughing at me behind my back?
I don't even want to hear the answers. It would just add more cuts to me. Burning yourself word for word into my heart and maybe, just maybe, my heart would remember you and fall in love with you again, which would only cause more scars if you pierced my flesh again and again.
How long have you made me believe that you mean something to my life? Whenever I finally wanted to be clear about myself, whenever I showed you that I like you, you rejected me. Whenever I wanted to knock you out of my head, you were there again, continued playing with me. Like a toy. A toy that you could reshape, bend, or forget.In the end your toy broke, now it's in the trash and you can get a new one. A new heart that you can destroy. But as. now you'll be rid of me soon. Now I'm no longer a burden to you, I'm no longer a block. Even if my hair is straggly now and my eyes are dull. My hot tears mix with the ice-cold raindrops, soon none of this will bother you anymore when I'm gone. All life has now passed out of me. I give it to you, my life, if you can call it that. I don't feel the cold metal under my hands for much longer and I won't know anything about it. My lips are blue and my body is shaking from the cold. One last look, one last long thought of you and my eyes are slowly closing. I push myself off, tears trickle down my body, but for the first time in a long time I'm smiling again. For the last time. I can still feel the water crashing over my head, then I sink down.My dreams have burst like a soap bubble, but now a warm darkness welcomes me. Will you ever find this letter?
Do you even care? I didn't want to hear your answers, I know you'd lie to me, I know you. If you'd even go to the trouble of doing this.
But now I don't care, finally don't care.