We were more than friends
we warned like brothers
many years we sang
the same songs
Only the best die young
You were the best
just memory
tell me why

Only the best die young
Only the best die young

The time heals wounds
but I cannot forget
the time heals wounds
but I think of you often
no matter where you are
you know as well as i do
at some point we'll meet again
in my dreams
in our songs

Only the best die young
Only the best die young
With this song I lost everything I had ever owned.
Tai died the following night. It was just too late, the doctors said. We would have found Tai way too late so that she couldn't do much more. And he died.
He just died without my being able to say goodbye to him. Just because.
I still can not believe it.

The night the hospital called and shared the news with my parents, a world collapsed for me and my whole family.Neither my mother nor my father could cope with this loss. And I certainly do not. I just locked myself in my room, I didn't want to see or speak to anyone. The pain was just too deep. I just couldn't take the loss of my brother.
And when the day of the funeral came, need together perfectly.
Everything had appeared, none of my and Tai's friends were missing, and everyone seemed desperate to come to terms with the loss.
Matt in particular had to struggle with the fact that Tai was no longer there. He fooled himself and blamed himself for Tai's death. But he wasn't, I know that now. Because the day I kicked Matt out, Sora came to me. She told me what really happened.
She told me that it was actually a normal argument between the two of them, they fought as always and this time Tai pulled away because Matt had hit his wound spot.
Well ... Actually, Matt was right to think that it was to blame, but that wasn't true.I found the letter shortly after talking to Sora.
The letter that Tai had written, it looks like, as a farewell letter.
It said that none of us should feel in any way. It would be much more up to him. He wrote in the letter that he couldn't cope with his whole life, couldn't get along with our parents, continued to sag in school, there were only arguments wherever he went ..... after all after the last one My parents quarrel with him, where my mother had spoken to him fairly plainly. Did he just make up his mind to end it? I think he thought that it would be best for all of us if he just disappeared, that nobody would get in trouble because of him.
And now? Now it's over. He really did it. He put an end to everything.
The longer I stand here at the grave, the more difficult it is for me to say goodbye, and it also started to rain. The rain pelts incessantly on the grave and its flowers that we all laid down.It all seemed like a dream to me, like a bad nightmare that I just can't wake up from. Now I am still standing here after hours, I just cannot free myself from everything that has happened. I just can't stand that he's just gone. I wish that I could have prevented that I was there for him, but I wasn't. I was never there when he needed me. I'm so terribly sorry for everything. I want to turn back the time but I can't! Nobody can do that.
I ask myself why? Why do the people who least deserve it have to die? Why do people you love die? Why? Why?
I scream this word over and over and now sit on the floor and still stare at the grave of my beloved brother who will never return. I will never see his laughter again, never again his carefree manner and never again will I be able to tell him how much I love him.I'm so sorry for everything Tai. Please forgive me for never being there.
My tears mix with the rain and keep pounding on the ground.
I feel so miserable, I can describe that. I feel so alone. I couldn't prevent anything ...
I think I would still be sitting by the grave if Matt hadn't suddenly come. As I said, he wasn't feeling better either. His face was pale and paled even more recently, when he was as well as so beautiful.
He just hugged me and hugged me so I couldn't help but cling into his sweater and just cry. I could see that he felt the same way, but didn't. No. He didn't cry in front of me, but he did it when no one was around. He wanted to show that he could handle the situation, but he didn't. That showed clear marks on his arm.
I think Matt would have wanted to finish it as much as Tai did, but he didn't.And I think I know the reason too.
I am the reason
He wants to be there for me now in this difficult time, he seemed to be afraid that I would make it on my own and just want to finish it, because I won't even let T.K get near me anymore.

And now?
It's been almost a year since my brother's death, and not much has happened in that time. Almost everyone was looking for something to get over it, including me. But for all that, I'm not really over his death. As well as? How am I supposed to ever forget what happened. How am I supposed to forget someone in my life has just disappeared from my life without which I can say goodbye?
I can not do that.
But it doesn't do me any good if I've been attached to it all my life. I have to live, I can't always mourn the past, it's over, it's all too late. Now I have to finally try to get my life under control again.Because that's what Tai would have wanted too, and not that I lapse into mourning forever.
He wants me to live, he wants me to enjoy my life. I know that.
That's why I'll do it, I'll do everything I set out to do, I'll just enjoy my life. The way it should be ... just like he always wanted it ... I'll stand on my own two feet so he'll be proud of me.