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I hate myself!

Every day I think this sentence anew ...

Every hour of my life ...

Every minute...

Every second...

I just hate myself!

No wonder, as pathetic as I am ...
I can't get anything done.

Fear always wins.

I'm always too cowardly.

Too cowardly to say anything.

To do something.

Every time I see you ...
I hear you laughing ...

And I know you're laughing at me!

I see you whisper ...

And I know you whisper about me!

I can feel you looking over ...

And I know you're looking at me!
The truth is, you hate me!

You despise me!

Disgust me!

Wish the plague on my neck!

But you don't need to tell me that ...

Because I know it that way too!
But I hate you too!

Despise you too!

Disgust me with you!

And everyone ...

Every single...

I wish each of you the plague on your neck!

But I can't tell you ...

And certainly not show ...
Because I'm scared!

I am afraid of your reaction!

Fear of your vengeance!

Afraid of you!

That's why I put up with everything!
I like everything from you guys!

And it hurts!

It hurts a lot!

And none of you notice it!

Nobody!

Neither my friends ...

Or my parents ...

And even if you notice, you can't help me ...

Nobody can do that !!!
I find no consolation anywhere!

And I am not happy anywhere either!

Luck...

Happiness is alien to me ...

I only know the pain!

That's why I sink into pain ...

And also seek my consolation in pain ...
Whenever the pain is throbbing in my arm ...

When the blood oozes down ...

And I put the knife aside ...

Then I always feel the satisfaction!

And the consolation!
I won't be happy anywhere.

That's why I gave up on it a long time ago.So I am tormented anew every day.

And I keep my mouth shut every day.

That's why I hate myself!

And that's why I punish myself!

Because only in self-punishment do I find my consolation ...

My luck...
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