Music: Alesana - Congratulations, I hate you (http://www.youtube.com/watch? V = VLNiD91 — xQ)

Chapter 1: Jasper's Return

Jasper's POV

She has been torturing me for 2 months. My own gift.
My own pain alone would have killed me if I were human. But there were also her feelings. My family. Or what was left of my family since we left Forks and thus Bella.
Edward no longer lived in our family at all. He had gone to hunt Victoria. Alice had her own room and thus demanded our separation. I agreed to her. A breakup was the best thing to do if I was to stand by my feelings.
My feelings. They betrayed me, stole my brother and were responsible for our family chaos. And for that I hated myself.
I fell in love with Bella, which Edward knew immediately, of course. He had made sure we would never see Bella again. That Bella would never fall in love with ME. In me that monster that I was. I was responsible for the fact that my wife, or rather ex-wife, was no longer the little hyperactive Alice, but only the shell of herself. It was through me that Esme had lost a wonderful daughter. Only Rosalie felt it was a good thing that Bella was removed from our lives and not only I, but Edward also knew it. We both hated her for it, even though Edward wouldn't admit it.
Carlisle knew why we left. He felt sorry for me. I didn't need that. No pity, no nothing. The only thing that kept me here with my family was the certainty that I deserved this pain, even if it was only mentally.
I didn't know how long I sat there in my all-round dark thoughts when I noticed that Alice, my wonderful Alice, touched my arm.
I gave a start.
"Where are you with your thoughts, my Jasper?" She asked softly, her voice broken.I had to swallow. I felt the pain and the fear of my answer.
"I think about her, Alice. I wonder why you're still talking to me. I think about everything and nothing," I whisper back, startled by the lifeless sound of my own voice.
She nodded slightly.
"You torture yourself, my darling. Maybe you should go. To her, or somewhere else. This is where our feelings torture you.", The little elf spoke in front of me.
Your heart and love for me is so big. I didn't deserve any of this.
I shake my head slightly in response and add: "I am to blame for your suffering. I deserve a lot more than just your pain and disappointment."
Small laughter filled the room.
"You're crazy, dear. Edward is wrong. You are not Bella's death. You are her life and we will see who is right. Love wins in the end."
She whispered the last sentence so softly that it was almost too soft even for my ears. I just nodded monotonously. I haven't believed in THE miracle for a long time. But I don't want to rob her of her hope.
"When did you fall in love with her, Jasper. If I could still have fought for you, would I have noticed earlier?" She asked quietly.
Now it's me who laughs softly. My laughter has nothing to do with humor or wit. No I laugh to hide my pain Vain.
"Do you remember the day we first saw her? In the cafeteria?" I asked and she nodded.
"I saw her and smelled her blood, heard her pulse, her heartbeat and felt her pure and innocent emotions. I saw her brown eyes, her curly hair and was instantly, irrevocably and immortally in love with her. And I felt Edward's thirst. Later." I felt his love for her and I let him win without a fight. I had you, he had no one. What an egotist I would be if I had stolen the girl of his dreams, no of his existence. ", I whispered."But why did you try to attack her?" Alice asked, horrified. "Weren't you under control?"
"I never meant to attack her and Edward knows that! I wanted to protect her, from you. I smelled her blood, it sang to me, and I could feel your thirst. You got it wrong and Edward took advantage of it." I spoke more forcefully than before.
"Then why did you come with me?" Alice asked now, horrified, at least an octave higher.
"Because you, my little, beloved sweet sister, shouldn't be hurt by a monster like me. I thought my feelings for Bella were going away, but it wasn't."
Alice nodded. She was touched by my words.
Then she looked at me determinedly.
"Well, if that's the case, then I ask you, Jasper Whitlock-Cullen, that you go to her and confess your feelings to her. I'll keep Edward at bay if I have to!", She spoke more resolutely, because ever.
I sighed.
"She loves him!"
Those three words made her growl. I backed away from her. I had never felt such anger emanating from her.
"She should know what a liar he is. Besides, I had a vision. Now go to her," Alice whispered to the end.

Here I was now, on a plane that was supposed to take me to HER, to my Bella. I sighed and picked up my ipod.
Soft music played and I closed my eyes. Lost in my thoughts, I did not notice how the time passed and I was startled from my pseudo-sleep when the voice of a young woman rang out next to me and said I should buckle up please because we were going to land.
I looked at her, nodded, and did what she asked. But it was ridiculous. Even if we crashed, I would be the last to die. The poor, frightened woman couldn't have known that, however. And again dark thoughts came over me.
The plane touched down, drove to the gate and soon after we were allowed to disembark.I took my time, I could do without a crowd. Only now did I realize how drained and thirsty I was. It must have been at least two weeks since the last time I went hunting. Or was it me at all, for the past 2 months? I just couldn't remember. It didn't matter now because I had just landed in Seattle. I quickly packed my poorly packed luggage and looked for my car. I left it at the airport 2 months ago. I found it quickly and drove off.
Drove to Forks, where I assumed my lover Bella.

~ * ~
Yeah
A big hello to everyone who has now found and read this fanfiction =) This is something completely new from me. After Gravitation, Detective Conan, Star Wars, Harry Potter and various other series, now here's my first Twilight fanfiction.
At this point, the sentence should actually be: Don't come too hard on me, but please remove it from your mind. I want to hear your frank and honest opinion about this fanfiction. Please do not write to me (even if you think they are good) no 0-8-15 Kommi.
Thank you in advance x3
Kind regards Gareas x3
P.s .: Each of these chapters has a music title that goes with it.
P.p.s .: While writing I heard this song: Underwater Affair - Here we are (http://www.youtube.com/watch? V = oLkdCrDWUIA) from my hometown Dorsten. Simply brilliant the band x3