“Deidara, you shit Barbie! Come here right away!” I don't even ask anymore what kind of crap he's screwed up, I take note of my wake-up service and get ready. When I get to the kitchen, Hidan is angry and eats his breakfast roll. So Deidara escaped from him. As always. "Hidan the ham is already dead, you don't have to tear it up first!" I scoff. "Shut up Pinoccio!" He grumbles demotivated.
People who know us from before will find this scene, which has meanwhile become everyday, unbelievable. We, the most feared Nuke-Nin, mock in the kitchen. I'd love to see the faces of the old crackers, and by that I don't mean Kakuzu or Madara, but the oldest of the ninja villages. The ones with their entrenched opinions and prejudices. Honestly, just because you want something bad, can't you joke?
Anyway, back to the topic. Our change:
Actually very simple. Most of us have been killed by some kind of shinobi, one more reason why this should seem rather suspect. No seriously, similar to how Pain, as we still call him despite everything, did it in Konoha, someone did it for us too. Who was that? I'm not telling you that, you wouldn't believe it anyway, I know that. In any case, we held a meeting as soon as we could all walk again. For the first time face to face, otherwise we were mostly projections. After some back and forth, we then built a headquarters. No, no joke, really made of wood and cement. Looks really great. Now everyone has their own room and so on, unlike before, where we had nothing at all. During missions we either stayed outside or in a hotel. I definitely don't want that again, puppet bodies or not, I prefer a comfortable bed to the forest floor. Strictly speaking, I don't need it at all, I don't need sleep, but it's still good for meditating or just relaxing.
What I'm getting at is after our reincarnation we were all free. No burden, no problems, like new born. Completely new pages have become visible with us. At Itachi, for example. The ice block really has a weird sense of humor, while I tend to use sarcasm. Now everyone can do what they want. Zetsu, for example, has brought plant seeds with him from all over the world, which he has planted and genetically modified in his greenhouse. That in turn enables me to come up with some new inventions. Kisame has built a swimming pool for us, but I don't use the place, because of the unfounded fear my body could become rotten. He's dating Itachi, by the way. Incredible what? Well, we thought too, but it's really true.
But if you think that these are the only two people who have found their great love, you are wrong. In fact, there are worryingly many couples at once.To be honest, I don't feel comfortable with the whole thing.
Then there are Hidan and Kakuzu, the zombie wins. It should be mentioned here that this does not mean that the two hate each other less than before. It may sound illogical, but it is true. Hidan's entertaining death and Kakuzu's grumbling about missing hearts are just as firmly on the agenda as Hidan's hunt for Deidara.
Next up, Nagato and Konan, I admit that's not really a surprise, they have always acted like an old couple.
Finally there is our blonde and Tobi. Yes, right, there is no mix-up here either. Really just Zetsu and I are still single here. But that doesn't matter here. So back to the interesting things: How did the two morons Deidara and Tobi come together?
Especially when Spiralfresse, guess where the nickname comes from, has always annoyed his Senpai so much. Well, it's a long story that starts with an art class.
What? My goodness how often? Yes! I am completely serious. Do I look like I'm kidding?
It happened just like today, we sat at the table and had breakfast. "Senpai?" Really only Tobi knows how to draw his words so annoyingly long. "What, un?" Growled his beloved senpai. “Tobi wonders if Deidara-senpai is showing him his art.” A diabolical smile crept onto the blondie's face. That was clearly the wrong phrase and he was about to feel it. Literally. "Of course Tobi, today you will experience first hand how I blow something with C4, un.", He replies as sweet as sugar. Sounds pretty scary, by the way. Deidara and sweet as sugar? It's more scary than Orochimaru in a thong. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about! At that point the poor victim still didn't realize that he was by no means just going to be a spectator at the performance.
"Deidara, go far away, you don't even know how expensive timber is these days!" Warns our moneybag. "This is a forest here, un. If we need wood, we'll get it." Then Kakuzu only mumbled something about 'quality' and 'density'.
"Come on Tobi, un. We're going!" How nice Dei-chan can be when he wants.
Here is a small cut. The fact is, we all know that Tobi is Madara, would be bad if not. The question arises why all of our blondes still hold on to their behavior, or more importantly, why Madara does it.
Simply because it has become a habit. To be honest, I think Mada-chan is as shizophrenic as Zetsu and wants to catch up on his childhood. Of course I won't say that out loud, or I'll be a dead human puppet. Yet again.
So far so good, as long as he wears the mask he's Tobi, and Deidara an ass, if not, not. Sounds logical, doesn't it? No, it doesn't do it if you ask me. Well, who asks me? I seem to have lost my respect for some reason, hell knows why.Back to the question of how the two came together. The question of whether Dei still acts like an ass when Tobi is wearing his mask is no. But that's something else again. Fucking situation.
In any case, the two then went outside, actually out of range of the headquarters. Tobi's screams could still be heard up here. Pain even stopped knitting. Why does our leader knit? That too is a different story.
"SENPAI, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS WITH TOBI?" Oh my goodness, he can scream, and in this incomparably tearful, childish tone. Only two minutes later, a visibly unsatisfied blondie stepped through the door.
And no I don't mean THE kind of unsatisfied you prepubescent toddlers.
“How does the ass always survive that?” The other people present asked themselves the same question. So everyone except I-know-everything-Itachi and As-Boss-I-know-all-secrets-Leader and Konan. They explained that Madara used his space-time jutsu to keep from scratching. Scrape off, and that from the mouth of an Uchiha. Anyway, back to the topic.
Only a few minutes after Dei-chan, Tobi came in with drooping shoulders. "Deidara, apologize to him.", Konan ordered, and he did that, gritting his teeth.
Why? Well, Konan is not to be trifled with, believe me, when she's angry ...
And then came the blatant thing, Tobi had made another swap to Madara and then said very seriously: "A simple apology is not enough, Senpai-chan. You have to do a little more. And I already know what I'm good at would find. "Imagine the spiritual toddler with an erotic voice. It's even worse than Dei in sugar-sweet. And then this 'Senpai-chan'.
So did the others, and no sooner had Madara dragged our bomber out, by the way, he didn't fight back, shocked, we besieged Zetsu. He should go spying for us and see if they're really doing what we think they're doing.
What can I say, it was worth it. In several respects. Kakuzu thought the camera was worth buying, so we have free home porn, and Hidan doesn't always buy the overpriced ones on the Internet.
Zetsu appeared in the wall of Madara's room with the device in hand. Really great cinema.
Well, I admit that still doesn't explain how the two idiots got together. I think one thing led to another. What was the saying? Love comes after sex? Yes, I think that's how it was. Hidan has a poster like this hanging in his room. Strange? Yes! Why do i know? Not only in Madara and Deidara's room is a camera ...
Yes, I have needs too. Back to the Thame, again.
In any case, Zetsu reappeared 1 1/2 hours (!) Later. Mind you, grinning broadly. “The two pretty ones are sleeping, so let's see.” No sooner said than done.I have to say I was surprised.
The two princesses slept through until morning and we tried very hard not to let it show. Didn't work. Did I mention Konan was watching? No? Our good little Konan is really dirty. I can tell you that next time.
Madara gave us an evil look without a mask (!) And Dei-chan turned bright red. All in all a sight for the gods. When asked where the spiral face left his mask, the answer came: “As you know it broke in the heat of the moment.” Then Dei also found out that they were filmed, so he tried to blow us up. Konan stopped him, luckily.
"Oh Dei-chan, we already knew the whole time that you were a woman deep inside you." Hidan whispered to top it all off. But that was clear, wasn't it? The question about the uke part has also been settled, right?
For the testimony, Blondie then killed him. The nasal bone rammed into the brain in real style. Yeah yeah, that was something.
Two days later it became official, both a couple. Anyone who had told Deidara this before he died would certainly have enjoyed his bombs. As a result, they got a new, shared room attached. Why? simply because we don't want to hear her loud moans every night (!) Now they have a lot of stamina.
Your change in character is more or less obvious. Sometimes both (!) Are in love with kitsch, sometimes just perverse. My goodness, they can really spoil your food! Since their partnership, Deidara has been teaching art to Tobi or Madara. In HIS art. In return, Madara him in his. What should you imagine by that? How did Blondie say it?
"Love is also a kind of art, un!" And love is a pretty broad concept ...