I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it ...
A mantra that kept repeating itself over and over in my head.
No, I never did anything, I was too stupid, too bad, I just couldn't do anything.
Things that I always kept in mind, things that others always reproached me for, things that I always reproached myself for!
I couldn't even put a ball through a knotty hole, the other children were already laughing and leaving the soccer field we had just played on.
I couldn't play football well and the others were happy when they got rid of me, let alone that they wanted me on their team, so that the coach always went over to assigning the appropriate teams.
Why did my mother want me to take part in a soccer club again? I didn't even really like this game.
Besides, it was more like something for my brother Reno.
"I can not do this!" I whispered when I didn't meet again, my eyes stared blank and blank into the distance.
I was too weak, unable to do anything.
"And why can't you do it ?!" Suddenly a strange voice penetrated my ear and when I turned around, I saw a boy with long brunette hair, bronze skin, black eyes and a beautiful poncho and red cowboy pants, walked into the field.
"What in God's name are you wearing there? Are those Lego blocks on your gloves and shoes ?!" I really had never seen anyone dressed as strangely as the boy.
"Lego-what? No! So why can't you do it ?!" I was looked at in confusion, then the strange boy asked more carefully about his question ..
"My name is Jeanne, and you ?!" I tried to distract from the topic, I absolutely didn't want to talk about my weaknesses, it was enough that they all always bullied me.
A smug grin crept onto the boy's face before he answered me: "Seki is my name! And now for my answer, maybe I will get another one today ?!".
"What an arrogant rooster! Siggi, which mother gives her child such a name, and why did you dress up ?!" I wanted to know, hoping to finally turn the conversation to another topic.
The boy with the long hair had to laugh heartily, which sounded rather cold and joyless to my ears.
A cold shiver ran down my spine, whoever this Seki was, he was dangerous.
Without warning, the boy grabbed the ball that had been lying in front of my feet until recently, balanced it on the tip of his foot, which was more than easy thanks to the Lego blocks on his feet, and shot it straight through the upper hole of the thin partition.
"My name is Seki, not Siggi! And my COSTUME already fulfills its purpose!" This Seki explained to me with a grin and looked at me from the side."It's good squat! But I could have done the number with those shoes too!" defiantly, I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at the person I was talking to with a gloomy expression.
Seki then just shook her head and began to take off her shoes to do the same thing again with bare feet.
For my part, I grabbed Seki's shoes instead and put them on, god these things were heavy.
When Seki had pushed the ball through the top hole, the 3 holes in the partition, he just took my shoes and put them on.
"Hey cool, we have the same shoe size!" I smiled when I finally got Seki's shoes on.
"Sweet shoes!" answered Seki and smiled at my pink sneakers with the white soles, the white laces and the Diddl mouse expression.
"And they fit you perfectly!" I grinned and got the ball, which was still behind the partition, or rather I wanted to get it.
Because when I wanted to take a step forward, I could barely get my foot off the floor.
"Alta, how can you run with these things? It's an impossibility!" scolded yours truly while I tried to take one step in front of the other so that I could move at all.
Seki had to laugh heartily when he saw me slip away and got up to follow me.
"It won't work like this in 10 years! I think you need good training!" Seki held me by one arm while I finally reached the ball and picked it up more badly than right.
"Training? Do you want to scare me off? I'm totally unsportsmanlike anyway, that doesn't give me anything and I don't really enjoy it either!" he didn't want to start a large-scale training with me here, did he?
Seki just smiled sweetly and took the ball from me again, which he then balanced on his foot.
Then he shot it to me and said: "Come on, we're training now!" And that was it.
In the next few hours, Seki taught me the techniques of football and made me sweat profusely.
Of course, I hadn't taken off my shoes during the entire training session, which also made the whole thing quite difficult for me.
But afterwards I was able to get the ball into the top hole without any problems, because I can't do it!
How not? Because every time I was facing a nervous breakdown and finally wanted to give in, Seki drove me to keep going.
This strange boy who had appeared out of nowhere, he had the strange gift of rebuilding me without any self-doubt or I lost trust in him, as with so many others before.
This boy, with his way, had banished from my heart the darkness that had recently prevailed.
And suddenly a fire grabbed me that I couldn't let go, and with this motivation I had trained with Seki until the late hours of the evening.So I could not only put the ball into the hole in the partition, no, I could dribble, trick, behead and whatever you couldn't do in football.
"Well, that should be enough for today, we'll see you again tomorrow, Jeanne!" an almost self-absorbed grin graced his face as he uttered these words.
Seki sat casually on the substitute bench at the football field, one foot on the bench and his arm casually placed on his knee.
Only now did I have to realize that Seki looked really good, even the bulky granny earrings with the star symbol on them looked really good on him.
I, on the other hand, with my long blonde hair, of which I only had a few strands tied together, the blue eyes, the pale skin and the somewhat plump stature, looked really poor.
Especially since today I was wearing a pink hooded sweater with a blue butterfly on it and faded blue jeans, and the "cute" Diddl shoes, or now Seki's club shoes.
"See you tomorrow, Seki!" I smiled, I waved to the brunette-haired boy, who got up and aimed at the large exit gate of the square, before he turned his gaze to me and then disappeared into a pillar of fire.
"See you tomorrow, Jeanne Margret Nagasaki!" Seki's last words faded away before only a cloud of smoke could be seen from the pillar of fire.
"W-How does the fagot know my full name, u-and did it just disappear in the fire!" I stuttered to myself, so my assumption that Seki might be dangerous was confirmed.
Seki was one of those numerous wondrous beings who were after me, and which I could only partially see.
But instead of presenting a danger to me like these other beings, I had the feeling that Seki was protecting me.
I felt somehow good, alive, free from all my fear, weakness and inability.
I was no longer alone, Seki was with me now.
Even if I hardly knew this boy, had only spent a few hours with him, I had the feeling that he had changed something in me.
Confident as never before, I wandered through the meanwhile dark streets, which otherwise always scared me as hell.
When I got to my house, the lights were still on, which probably meant that my parents were waiting for me.
"Hello Jeanne, there you are finally! ... What kind of shoes are you wearing ?!" I was greeted by my mother at the door, who looked at me questioningly.
"Oops!" I was still wearing Seki's shoes, of course that my mother's eyes immediately caught my eye.
"Are those Lego shoes? Why are you laughing like that ?!" confused, I was eyed by my mother, who let me into the house.
In the meantime I had burst out laughing and could hardly be reassured.
God! What would Seki's parents say if he showed up there wearing pink Diddle shoes."S-Sorry mom, they belong to my new FRIEND!" I finally answered her: "It will look a bit gay when he shows up with his parents with my slippers!".
Now my mother had to laugh too, who then said: "I made your dinner warm for you! Eat that and then you go to bed, your brother is already asleep!".
As I ate my meal I told my mother about my day today and of course about Seki.
I left out the pillar of fire and that he knew my full name because I didn't want to worry my mother unnecessarily.
Of course, I also put them in danger because these evil spirits were targeting me.
She couldn't see them, but the danger these beings represented was of course a danger to her too.
After dinner I got ready for bed, that meant putting on pajamas, brushing my teeth, saying night time and going to bed.
Seki's shoes stood in front of my bed and sparkled in the weak light that my room lamp threw.
I was lying in bed and smiled when these shoes fell into my field of vision.
I always slept with the light on because I couldn't sleep in the dark, but today I deleted this for the first time in many years, lay down again and pushed an arm out of my bed.
Samft my fingers touched Seki's shoes and I fell asleep over them.
With long, targeted steps, Seki headed for the large campfire, where only Luca and Opacho were sitting.
"I'm back!" the brunette greeted his two good friends, so to speak.
"Hello Mei-...!" Opacho did not get any further with his greeting, because he clasped his mouth convulsively.
"Is something Opacho ?!" Seki looked confused at the little African American.
Luca, a man with a hat and a black poncho with a high flap collar, now looked up from his book and couldn't help laughing.
"What is there to laugh about, please ?!" Poor Seki was just more confused and stared in disbelief at his two friends, who were now just arching with laughter.
"You have really nice shoes on Master Seki!" Luca complimented my shoes, which Seki was still wearing.
"Oh god, I'm still wearing Jeanne's shoes! Stop laughing!" Seki looked bitterly at his two followers and pulled