Whenever I think things are going up again, it seems like something is pushing me down again and again with full force.
Especially when I have worked through all the burdens and problems, it is as if twice as many were pounding on me.
It's like trying desperately to get to the surface, but every time the target is within my grasp, I'm thrown back and have to start all over again. It all happens anew every day and I start to give up.
Yet there is something that gives me strength to get up again, a goal, the memory of the person who is waiting for me.
It is she who prevents me from giving up and drowning in the infinite sea of ​​life. It helps because she is the ray of light at the end of the dark, of the day.
The desire to talk to her, no matter how briefly, makes me pull myself together and move on and not stop anymore. As soon as I can talk to this very special person, I feel free, I feel needed and can leave everything behind.
And for these moments, this time with her, I am infinitely grateful.
Everyone has, had or will have problems, that is the nature of the matter, I think. Still, I'm so selfish as to pity me.
I am pathetic.
And yet, is it wrong to want to feel detached and happy? Is the person who has become the center of my life too important to me?
Because I know that she listens to me, encourages me, understands me, that's why I trust her more than anyone else.
So, can it be wrong to feel good about yourself?
With someone you've never seen before? Which maybe doesn't exist? Because who knows if the person is really who I think I know?
Is it naive to trust someone like that?
I don't care that I've never met her, because precisely because I probably never have to look her in the eye, I can confide in her.
Without the bad feeling of what she might think of me.
I don't care about any of this because this person is the only one who can get me out of my prison.
----
huhu
a bit depressed, if not as much as other OS of mine. But as usual briefly.
It is already six months old, as a certain person may be able to see xD
glg