my life.

Satoshi started. "Not ..., not this dream ...", he put his hand to his head and tried to think clearly. He knew how it would end when he had that dream. He hated it, he hated that dream every time it attacked him. Krad was still sitting on the windowsill and now looked at him crookedly from the side. "Did you have a bad dream Satoshi?", He worried about the boy, he hadn´t slept so badly for a long time."Maybe I should distract him a little, give him another dream?" Krad always did when Satoshi was feeling bad. Because he knew all too well how the dream that gave him a start ended. He still hated himself for not being there for him then. At that time he was slumbering in the unfathomable depths of his little child's soul. Krad sat down next to him on the bed and looked him in the eye, studied him. He looked pale as a chalk, almost all color had drained from his face, only the cut was visible in bright red. The rain was still pattering against the window, the angel with the ice blue eyes leaned down to the boy and gave him a tender kiss on his lips. Satoshi knew that he only wanted to help him and pulled him down again, with this kiss he received a little sleep. He closed his eyes, leaned back and his features relaxed a little until you could only hear a steady breathing sound ... His dreams were always like a journey into his past that threatened to overtake him painfully ... .. He was still running and got home completely out of breath, of course soaking wet."When papa finds out ..." he sobbed and crept to the back entrance. He padded carefully up the stairs, went to his room and got a few things from the closet, then went into the bathroom. There he took off his wet clothes and made some bubble bath in the tub, in which he then let warm water. When he finished bathing, he dried himself off and sneezed. "Uh, now I've caught a cold too ...", he hurried to get dressed and went down to his father. "Papa?", A small figure stood in the doorway and peeked around the corner. Satoshi sneezed again briefly, then went up to his father and sat down on the couch with him. "Just say you caught a cold!", He stroked his head, ruffled his hair and smiled ... 5 years later, he had already passed his elementary school years, and he was almost through to senior high school done and now he should prepare for his studies.Because he was so good at school, he had managed to get a scholarship. 3 months later he was studying at Lagoon University. At first you didn't want to believe that a 9 year old boy like him was going to a university. And then to one of the best there was. Yet it proved to all of them the exact opposite of what they all expected. He outshone them all in terms of his intelligence, he was the best of his year and had been for two years in a row. A few more years and he'd graduated. Then he was just 13 years old and anything was open to him. He never complained that the subject matter was too difficult, in general he never complained. And there was something else he never did. He never smiled, had never been heard laughing or seen in any other way happy ...

When I sit at my child's bed
I want to kill you, father.
I run the fastest, throw far
I jumped in a dreamMuch higher than the others
For a hole in your lungs.

"It's slowly getting to my mind that this lousy little rat of wannabe show-offs with his intelligence is getting all the praise of the professors!" Said Hizuki to one of his friends. It bothered him more than a lot that Satoshi had been the favorite of 'his' class for 2 years, because he, Hizuki, had been it before. But what he didn't know was how lonely Satoshi actually was. He had been forced into all of this, disregarding his own feelings. "How about we give the little one a very special birthday present?", He grinned totally underhandedly. There were still a week until Satoshi finally turned 12 and only had to stay here for 1 year. The days until his 12th birthday dragged on like chewing gum that had been chewed for too long. He couldn't wait until he only had to go to university for another year, maybe he would finally be allowed to be a child.He was just as popular with the girls in the senior years as he was with the younger ones. Whereby one understood an age between 20 and 23 years, they found him just too cute and still couldn't believe that he was also studying. "What do we want to give the little one for his birthday this year. Does anyone have an idea?", Hi-chan asked her friends. They were all just as mad about Satoshi as Hi-chan himself. They decided to go into town on Monday and look for something suitable. But they didn't know that the gift was actually quite simple: friendship! It was already Tuesday and they were walking from one store to the next, always looking for something suitable. So far they had unfortunately not had any success, the right one simply couldn't be found. But it was also difficult to get something good for him because they didn't know what he already had. He was ever the son of a very influential man and so it could very well be that he already had everything he wanted.They were in the next shop and were looking around, when Miharu discovered a small figure in the form of an angel. She grabbed it and went with it to the rest of the group: "Well, how about something like that? We can always buy something to go with it, right?". You agreed to it and so today's search for gifts was over. They went to the checkout, paid for it, and when offered to them, didn't have it wrapped up. They preferred to do that themselves. "O. K. girls, up and back to university!" Hi-chan shouted when they were outside and so they went back. On the way back they found some very nice wrapping paper. So nothing could go wrong, at least they thought and hoped that it would be like that. Meanwhile, Satoshi continued his studies, he wanted to do a little more until his birthday. Maybe his father would bring him home for a week and it was an advantage if you had worked on something. Kono was just about to wrap the present when they heard a scream and a curse from her.The others rushed into the room and wanted to know what had happened. She sat on the carpet and stared at the little figure, it was broken. "Oh no, tell me that didn't happen, yes?", Nana asked her and looked at the broken pieces. "But Nana, unfortunately it happened. Although this part was massive and shouldn't have broken. So I have to give it something else ...", Kono said and collected the pieces to throw them away. Gluing didn't make much sense anymore. They set out to find a new gift. And that was very difficult until tomorrow, because Satoshi was already 12 tomorrow. "Well, that was just bad luck. Could have happened to anyone!", Miharu consoled her. It took a few hours, but just before the shops closed, they found a new gift. But they would have preferred if they could have given him the angel ...

Your word tightens my throat
I saw on my legs
I ask you three questionsAnd break both arms to me:
When did the son die?
And when did you notice it?
How terrible do children smell
Who go to hell and cry?

"Just go to this university for one more year and that's it!" He said to himself, he was just walking down the hall to his room. He closed the door behind him and went to his closet. It was the weekend and he didn't have to wear that annoying school uniform. - Just because the director wanted to congratulate me personally, I had to throw myself into this thing again ... - he took it off and took some more comfortable things out of the closet. Then he put them on and left his room and went outside. As he was walking towards the park he was suddenly surrounded by a group of girls. "Please, not again!" He said, slightly annoyed, and wanted to leave. But one of them grabbed his arm and had to go with them, whether he wanted to or not. Like every year. since he was here he was 'forced' to eat ice cream and stuff like that by these girls on his birthday and got a present from them at the end of the day."Well, at least that's better than going out with my father!" Satoshi muttered as they walked into a café. "And Sato-chan, what do you want to eat?" They asked him and looked at him expectantly. "You choose something, I'll eat it too. O.K.?" He said to them and sat quietly. As always, they had hoped for that when they 'kidnapped' him to do something like that again and so they ordered a chocolate sundae for him with lots of cream and chocolate sauce. - Why are they always so excited when they see me? I'm probably something like their little-brother-replacement-they-never-had ... - he thought to himself and put a spoon of ice in his mouth. "And, do you like it?", Those expectant faces again. "Yup, it tastes great!", He said enthusiastically, but didn't smile. But he didn't have to lie in this regard, because he was very fond of chocolate sundaes. It was already 7 p.m. and they were about to leave to bring him back.Although he was a student, he was only allowed out until 8 p.m. He was still a minor and the director wanted to avoid trouble with his father. They released him from their clutches in front of the park and announced that they would come back with snow shortly before midnight to give him his present. They had a habit of making any birthday boy fidget until almost midnight before they got their gift. So again this year with Satoshi ... "Oh man, I can wait soooo long ...", he hated to be woken up when he was asleep. He checked his watch, it was almost 8 p.m., he had been strolling around the park too long. Now he ran back to the main building, not knowing that he was being watched. When he got there, he slowed down and walked slowly through the arch of the entrance. - lucky! - he thought to himself. Now he could really slow down, he was in the building and only had to go to his room. Usually they had a room with two beds, but his father had insisted that he be given a single room.He took out the