want to start with? Moving in and out? Or do you want to start with the funeral?" Alex took Lilly's hand and squeezed it.
"Anastasia wants to be at the funeral, so I want to do it after your exhibition. The loading and unloading should be finished when Anastasia comes out of the hospital."
"Well, we'll take care of moving tomorrow and then the funeral. Do you want to sleep in your apartment today?"
"I'll go there right away and see what I want to keep and what not. Then I'll see further.I'll be with Nancy in the evening and take care of the little one. Then I can stay there too "
"I can also take care of the little one with you and then we go to my house, I'll also get your room ready." He smiled at her, "you get used to your new surroundings."
"Ok, we can do that too." Lilly smiled at him.

“I'll pick you up in three hours.” Alexander leaned forward and kissed Lilly on the cheek.
“Ok, see you then.” She hurried up to her apartment and started sorting and packing. At the same time she began to say goodbye to the apartment and to clean it, with tears running down her face.

"Here I am again. I've finished your room." Alexander said as Lilly opened the door for him. He eyed her, she was wearing an old dirty T-shirt and jeans that had holes. Her face was dirty and he immediately saw the marks left by the tears. Lilly felt uncomfortable and looked at the floor, suddenly she wished he wouldn't look at her so intensely, but just look away, leave her alone."I'm almost done. The boxes are in the other room, everything important is in there so far."
"Ok, I'll carry them into the car." Alexander looked at her once more worriedly and then began to load the boxes into his car. Lilly started to park her travel bag, changed clothes and washed the biggest dirt off her face . When she heard Alexander come back in, she straightened her shoulders and smiled weakly in the mirror.

"Do you want the bag in the car too?" Alexander asked when he got to Lilly's bedroom.
"No, I'll go to Nancy on my own. I need a little time for myself, I still have to work. I'll stay overnight with Nancy." Lilly looked at the floor, but noticed how Alexander came closer. She felt his hand on her chin and lifted her head as he applied light pressure. They looked at each other, and after a while Lilly lowered her eyes and whispered, "Please Alex, don't look at me like that. I have to collect myself, I have to ...""Lock yourself up again, renew your protective shield." He finished her sentence.
"No. It's not like that." She shook off his hand and felt anger rise in her. Anger at him that he left her alone 7 years ago, anger at herself that she allowed him to touch her, let her hug and she felt good, anger at Tom, who had taken advantage of her and hurt her, anger at her whole world that she just didn't want to leave alone. She stood upright, shook off Alexander's hand and glared at him.
"I said that I would move in with you, but not when and I only did it for Anastasia. And just because you think you love me doesn't mean that I love you too or that I let you tell me something I should do or not do it, let alone what I feel or not, or how I should deal with my feelings. "She took a breath," I'll go to Nancy now, I'll get in touch with you tomorrow. "She said softly, gave him the front door key and then went out of the room.Alexander followed up with her, then he said softly, "I'm just worried about you."

"Are you sure we should leave you alone?" Nancy asked for the fourth time.
"Yes, for sure, now let's go with you, I'm fine, it's better for Susanne like this. The pain is gone." Lilly smiled and pushed her friend / cousin out.
"Aunt Lilly?" it came timidly from Sandy’s room.
"Yes." Lilly came to her and sat on the bed.
"Will you tell me another story? Please"
"Yes." Lilly sat down on the bed and took Sandy in her arms. "It wasn't that long ago that the pretty Sandy and the pretty Prince Lerry met. It happened when the prince was forced to go to a dance school. Since no one should recognize him, he had himself under a false name Registered and was therefore treated like everyone else. Sandy was at the dance school because she loves dancing, she loves to watch her parents float across the dance floor and how elegant the movements looked, like a well-rehearsed team that no one can divide. "“I also want to learn to dance, my mom and dad also met in dance school,” Sandy says quietly.
"I know. But let's continue with the story. As fate would have it, and it usually wants everything, the two were in the same course. Sandy was an inconspicuous girl and was often overlooked, even when dancing, but the prince had she discovers herself standing in the corner watching the people around her. When it was time again to summon the ladies, the prince came straight up to her and asked her about this dance. Sandy looked at him confused and, "Lilly looked down at little Sandy who had fallen asleep in her arms. She smiled faintly and got up, covered the girl neatly and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I love you," she whispered softly.
“I thought you don't believe in love.” Frightened, Lilly whirled around.
"What are you doing here, Alexander?" she asked and felt the exhaustion that had rolled over her for so long, rising again."I wanted to talk to you. I met Nancy and Nick, they gave me the key after I promised them that we would wait for them and then let them in." He held up the key.
"I don't want to talk to you," she walked past him into the living room.
"Lilly, you can't throw things like that at me and then just disappear." He followed her and when he grabbed her hand, she spun around. "Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you like that. If you're angry about it, that's your good and even if you want me to look for something else for me and my daughter now."
"I don't want that at all. Lilly, listen to what you said, did you mean that?" he asked softly.
"Yes, I have. I never want to be tied to someone or rely on their strength, or on their help." She shook off his hand and sat down at the table and began to open her file on the laptop."You have changed a lot, you still have a big heart and don't want to hurt anyone, but you don't let anyone get close to you who could hurt you."
"Yeah, I've changed," she sighed and turned around. When she looked at Alexander, tears came to her eyes. "Listen. I'm sorry that I gave you the wrong hope, that I leaned against you and that I needed your shoulder. If I can still move in with you, then I'll be happy to do it, because of Anastasia, she likes you and so she also has a garden to play with. Of course, I look around for something of my own right after Susanne's funeral and I pay rent and so on. Only I have one condition, we are then simply a flat share, nothing more . "
"And what does that mean?"
"I have my own room and my own life. I am very grateful to you for the help you offered me. But I don't want more than that." She closed quietly.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?""Because it hurts less. Go please," she turned back to the laptop and began typing.
"I saw the tears, Lilly. At the moment they're running down your cheeks." Speaking softly, he stepped up to her. "And I feel guilty for these tears. I accept your request that you have your own room, it's already finished, but I don't accept that you exclude me from everyone else. I was serious that I love you and that's why I'll fight for your trust. "He put his hands on her shoulder and kissed her hair. "But since I love you too, I won't press you and leave you alone now." He put two keys on the table. "Here, your new front door key and remember to let Nancy and Nick in. Just come by sometime tomorrow, then we'll drive off and clear out Anastasia's parents' apartment." Then he turned around and Lilly laid her head on the table as she heard the front door slam shut.so, hope that the 4 chapter is ready soon :-D and of course I hope for clerks
Inking HEl