I am sitting here. As always. I always sit here. I've been in this place for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I look out; catch a glimpse of the sky that stretches light blue over this world. I have questions, a lot of questions. But nobody wants to answer me. Nobody can. Do you want to know why
It's easy. Nobody answers me because they don't know the question. I do not ask them. What would I be to allow myself to ask questions? My master would expel me and kick me out and shortly afterwards I would be dead. Certainly, I am not as helpless as you think - but then I am too weak to stand up to all the demons. Sure, I could go to my master's enemy, but he would kill me; he would suspect a trap. No, I am not allowed to ask my questions. I am expected to be silent, although sometimes I would rather scream. But I don't. I don't want to die yet. It is clear that I will die - nobody lives forever.Not even sir, let alone his opponents. But someone will survive the final, decisive battle. The only question is who. But there is no answer to this unspoken question of mine. Maybe God would know her. If he exists - I don't believe in him.
What? You ask me who i am Inuyasha? No, I am not Inuyasha. Don't bother, in the end you will know. Just pay close attention to my words, then you can find out my identity. If you haven't already guessed it. I trust your ingenuity.
I know that the sun won't rise at some point. But I will not see this day. Then I will have become a part of this world with my allies and enemies. Don't you also think that in death all will be united? Forgive me, I shouldn't have asked you. But this, too, is a silent question of mine. Please allow me to write these questions down here ... You are doing me an immeasurably great favor.You allow me I owe you my deepest thanks.
I often wonder who I really am. But you will not have an answer to this question; because you hardly know me You know my name And that was about it.
Not many notice me; I just emerge from behind them. You are frightened; try to fight me. But so far nobody has been dangerous to me. I've always won. But I wonder ... why should I do this? Often it's just people that I have to kill. I don't know her and still have to kill her. At first I didn't mind, but now I wonder why. But I can't ask my master. I can't ask anyone. That's why I'm grateful to you for listening to me. I am ignored far too often, even by my own master. But I don't care, it's always been like that. And I don't think anything will change about that. To be honest, I don't really want it either.If I were to be given more attention, a lot would be different. No, I am as happy as it is. And when death comes, then I'll be okay with it.
Well don't look at me like that! You're going to die too, everyone will. So why do you look so shocked when I talk about death? Yeah I know it seems distant But please don't forget that every day could be our last. We could die at any moment, even now that I am speaking.
Why do we exist? That too is a question that keeps me up at night. You frown That's right, because there is no answer to this question. I can only repeat myself: maybe God would know you. If he exists - I don't believe in him.
And you? Do you believe in God? Do you believe in someone who created this earth? Do you think after you die you will go to heaven? Please tell me why should you go to heaven Even if you are not committed to the craft of war, you have certainly already killed.Be it just a fly or another animal - they too lived, felt, thought. You too will go to hell. Everyone goes to hell. Infants too. You gave birth to the mother in pain.
What's happening? Why are you silent? Did you become aware of the truth of my words? Why are you looking at the earth? Are you thinking about the animals that you slaughtered so that your family could have more to eat? You killed to ensure the survival of others. So in itself it's a closed circle - please don't look so sad.
What is bad This is also a question on my part. Is my opponent angry? And what am I then for my opponent? From that point of view everyone is angry. Only then, in death, is there no longer any good or bad. And then we can see each other again as friends - if that's what you want. Maybe you're just listening to me for your allies. Listen: I don't know anything about my master's plans. He trusts me, he doesn't deny that ... However, he keeps silent about his plans.I have to meet; I don't have to think. If my lord could read minds Thoughts that I think; then he would kill me, because my master has no scruples. So that's how we got back to death. Do you see? Death is the most important thing, the most important thing in a life. He's the only one who you know for sure is coming. You can't be sure about all other things - not even about great love.
What's that in your eyes? Maybe horror, I don't know. Don't be afraid, I didn't say that great love never comes - but it could be. You are a wonderful being; because you listen to me; somewhere in the world there will surely be someone who loves you more than anything. Don't smile, I was just telling the truth. You blush Could it be that you've already found your love? If so, go - I don't want to stop you.
You stay? I thank you. But I won't ask you all of my silent questions - there are too many.It's enough for you that you took the time to listen to me. I regret that you will miss this time in your life - it is rare to meet such a wonderful creature as you. No, don't deny it - because this is also true.
I just have one last question for you before you leave: what is nothing? This question was once asked to me and my answer was this: “I am the nothingness.” My Lord put the nothingness in a body and with it signed his own death sentence. Because nothing stands on either side - because nothing is death, darkness.
But tell me what is your answer to this question? Do not answer me now; answer me when you've thought about it long enough. Answer me in nothing, in death. Because at the latest there we will see each other again.
And now go. Your companions will be waiting for you. But don't let them know we talked - they would be suspicious of you. Now run.Run into your life. And please think about this one question: What is nothing?
"Not every morning brings the light with it."