You did it again. We did it again. We fought again. Because you were with her again. And again I freaked out. Have insulted you; sent you to the ground. You threw me on the head that I still had Kouga. I have tears; do you really think i love him? I slapped you in the face and ran away. Here. To where it all started. I ran to the holy tree, as I often did when we fell out again.
Now I stand here and stare at the place she banished you to for fifty years. I can feel how hot my tears are. My throat is scratching. I do not know; what am I still doing here? If all you want is the shards, she can do it just as well. So why should I stay here? Nobody here needs me. I think I would be much better off in my world. There are no monsters, youkai ... and especially no beloved half-demons.I could live a normal life for what I was before I fell into the well: a normal middle school human girl. Why does this not work? Why can't i live my life Why do I have to grapple with all these problems that nobody else has to deal with? Why always me?!
"I don't want to see you here anymore !!" Your words echo in my head. Why did you do that? Am i that unimportant? Do you care so little what becomes of me? Why? Didn't I always stand behind you Didn't I always stand by you, no matter what the others said? Have I ever despised or hated you because of your origins, because of your being? No. And yet you hurt me so much. Don't you care Don't you care what I feel Can not you see it? Can't you see Don't you see how my heart is slowly breaking apart Don't you wanna see it Or do you see it and allow it? Why just why?I love you. Why does love hurt so much? Again and again you hurt my soul. Don't you see Are you really that blind Or are you doing all of this on purpose? Do you do this so that she is satisfied? So that she can be happy with you? And me?! What about me? Isn't anyone interested in me? Why don't you care I love you But you seem to be blind to it ...
Maybe it’s best if I leave. But this time forever. You will never see me again. Sure it's better that way. You have hurt me so many times ... broken my heart countless times ... and my soul is slowly shattering under all the burden that is placed on it. I can't keep my mask on forever! At some point I'll be finished too! At some point I will collapse too if no one can hold me! Are you so blind and can't see behind my mask? Why can't you Why don't you look behind my mask; recognize the pain behind it?Or is all your thinking so fixated on them? Do you no longer see your surroundings? Don't you see ... me anymore? Have you become blind to the pain of others? Why?! Please, I want to hold on to you ... Please, be my hold in the storming sea ... Hold me tight, very tightly to your chest ... That is my wish; my desire. Come here and embrace me ... then everything will be fine.
But what am I kidding myself? You won't come At most if she were here. Then you'd be faster than lightning here. But not when it comes to me. After all, only she is important. When she was there, I was suddenly unimportant. Would you notice if I just disappeared? Certainly not. Sure you wouldn't even miss me! I'm just a search engine for you! When I'm no longer needed, you push me into the corner and forget about me little by little ...
Sobbing, I swallow my tears. I look up; raise him up again.Was it fate? Was life meant to connect our lives from the beginning and break my heart ?? Was it all planned? Why? That's not fair. Why can't I be happy with my love Why does she have to be with someone else already? I just want my happiness ...
Where are you But what do I ask. You are safe with her. You are always with her when you can. You don't waste a thought on me. Why also? I won't be there at some point anyway, so why waste an unnecessary thought on myself? I am just the means to an end. You can't handle feelings, I know that ... But can't you be a little kinder to me? Inquire about me when I'm sick? Looking for me when I'm not there? I'm sure you do with her. But not with me. Why also? I am not important anyway. So why should you care about me? There is no reason for that. When our journey together is over, I will return home forever; back to normal life.Because only that is mine. And yet ... hasn't this world already become part of it? Aren't our adventures everyday? Also, how do you always protect me at the risk of your life? Your face comes to mind You lie on the floor covered in blood, your lips drawn into a tortured smile. Breathed that everything would be fine as long as I was okay ... I almost lost you. Do i want this? I never want to see you again Do I want to cut you out of my life, stamp you as an unpleasant memory? I can not do that. Because that would mean denying my first great love. I can't do that. I can't deny you Because you are part of my life. An infinitely important part of my life. I bury my face in my hands. Shrug my shoulders. I don't notice that it's starting to rain. That is not important.
But then I feel something warm around me. Cloth is placed around my shoulders. A coat.I look at my shoulder. Red. The fabric is red. I am cautiously embraced from behind; feel warm breath on my throat. Your breath. Are you here with me? "What are you doing here? Come back with me to Kaede ... Otherwise you will catch a cold, Kagome ... and ... I miss you ..." What? It's almost too good to be true. I turn around, look in your golden eyes The next thing I can feel is your warm lips on mine.
I wanted away from you, away from you ... and stayed. Because now I finally know that you will return my love.