Days went by when I could laugh and days when I couldn't do anything, at university I avoided Jenny, even sat down next to Kai who usually preferred to sit alone. Spent every spare minute not thinking about her or even looking at her.
"Tell me what about you now and ..." Maik fell silent as I looked up from my meal. "With whom Maik?" I didn't really want to know, but I tried to cover it up. "Well uh ... yes ..." I tossed a fry to his head and continued eating. I leaned lightly on Kai while eating so that Maik's mouth stayed open again. "Miss Fukuma could I speak to you for a moment?" "Of course, Professor." I got up and the professor and I stepped a little apart from all the students. "Amber, I'm sorry to have to tell you that, but your father ..." I knew what he wanted to say but I didn't want to believe it. "I think I know what you want Professor." I smiled sadly and then went back to the others. Nobody asked that everyone knew what it could be, I gambled my bag up to me, opened it and looked for the car key. Then I remembered the Kai had driven I looked at him and was about to ask because someone seemed to me. “Come on guys, let's skip the last hour.” Maik had always been one of those, but why now. Everyone nodded and we made our way to the cars that were parked in the university parking lot. On the way there we met Jenny, Kai pulled me closer to him while walking and my eyes widened a bit but I read it. I drove in front of everyone, which didn't seem to bother them, because they followed me even though each of them could have been there in a shorter time. We stopped in front of the large white painted hospital, Kai stayed in the car a moment longer and since I had seen my brothers I had to go to them. "Amber you are here you shouldn't skip the university ..." said Marcus and put me in a hug and continued."We're glad to have you here." we knew that it would come at some point, but we didn't know exactly when. So we all went in Marcus and Alex together, Kai held me back for a moment and put the car key in my pocket. "Don't lose him." he whispered and now we both went into the building. I was afraid that I had lost one more person the whole trip and now it came true.
The doctor who was responsible for dad brought us to him and said that only family members were allowed in. Marcus looked at Kai and said. "Only to Kai you also belong to our family in a certain way, I'm sorry that you have to wait here." he said to the others. Four of them entered the little room that Dad hadn't wanted to leave for the past few weeks. I walked slowly to his bed, Dad's pale face was on the pillow, it looked emaciated and you could see his cheekbones clearly. I had to hold back my tears when Dad took my hand and whispered very softly. "Marc ..., Alex ..., Amber ..." a coughing fit followed and still he continued. "I want ... that you ... never ... have to ... do without something ..." another attack. Alex couldn't see it anymore. "Dad please stop ..." his tears ran down his face he was on the verge of collapsing if Marcus hadn't held him. Even the tough Marcus had to suppress tears. Dad squeezed my hand gently and then the pressure decreased until he let go of my hand, closed his eyes and seemed to sleep peacefully. At that moment my legs turned to pudding and I went down on the floor in front of his bed, howling my eyes out in front of his bed. He'd done everything for us after mum died, dad was the only one I could talk to. "It just can't be." I kept saying as if I'd been put on replay.Marcus and Alex were with the others in front of the door and kept them from coming in, Kai saw it with me on the wall under the window and just held me tight while I cried my tears. Some time later, I was standing in front of the door of the others crying and leaning against the wall so as not to fall. Marcus had made his way home with Alex because Alex couldn't stand being here anymore. I could understand him, I actually felt the same way as him, but I stayed, I wanted to be with Dad before I would never see him again. The others were already gone when Mail, Kai and I drove home. Kai drove because I couldn't even open the door, I saw it on the back seat and stared out the window while Kai and Maik were talking. Maik had decided to sleep on the sofa in the way, so the three of us went up the stairs to the second floor.
I withdrew into my room and first made a CD in the system that actually didn't even belong to me but was good to cry and I needed that now, after a while the door to my room opened and Kai stood in the door. He had a plate in his hand that was steaming, I took off the headphones and looked at him asking. "You should eat something, I know it's hard but it has to be." "What if I say I don't want to?" he shrugged and set the plate down on the table. "I'm not making you eat something, Angel." he sat on the bed and took the headphones from my hand and put them on and started to grin he took them off and just said. "Yes, the CD is not from us." I just nodded and put the headphones aside and looked at him. Something inside of me said to myself that I should keep him here with me and not let him go, but something else said it would just be the same as before. "What are you looking at?" I shook my head quickly. "It's nothing but ..." he put a finger to my mouth.I didn't know what to do anymore so I took that hand and held it tightly in my own. He didn't seem to understand just as I didn't understand what I was doing, but it seemed like an old habit. With one quick movement I saw him on his legs, his hands on my waist and our eyes never let go. "We should ..." but then he didn't seem to care and he kissed me first gently and then more and more wildly, his hands had opened my blouse and were about to open my bra. For a while I had almost ripped open his shirt and slowly brushed it down my shoulders, he did the rest and threw it on the closet. So one thing came to another and we had slept together, but it seemed as if my body had come close to its fulfillment under his movements and touches.
I woke up alone in my bed in the morning but when I looked around, Kai was standing at the window and looked out, I wrapped the blanket around me and went to him at the window. Kissed his shoulder and whispered, "Good morning." while I put my arms around him. Just as softly he whispered something, "Good morning, Angel." he turned slowly in my arms to me so that I could look at him, my face was on his chest and Kai wrapped his arms around me. His smile couldn't be overlooked any more than that he was happy when he held me like that. I looked up at him and saw what the sun was doing to him, he looked amazing when you saw him standing there. We got dressed and then went into the kitchen from which one could hear loud noises.
"Oh come on Sam." Maik said a bit depressed. “I said no or didn't I?” Sam was as stubborn as ever but that made her special. Kai cleared his throat behind with a little louder and the two looked at us, then I realized that I shouldn't be happy but sad.My gaze went to the window and to my guitar that was under it. "Lily do you want to eat something?" Maik asked without waiting for me to answer. With slow steps I went to the window and knelt in front of my guitar, picked it up and looked at it for a moment. "Has anyone changed anything about her?" I asked without taking my eyes off her. "I've changed the sides." Kai admitted, his gaze hung on my back, I slowly turned around and quickly blinked away the tears that came up in me.
I let the guitar slide slowly back into its holder and then stepped up to him, pretending to be angry about it. "What are you thinking of ...?" my look was nasty but also streaked with a grin. He didn't say anything and just looked at me, then I put my hands on his shoulders, leaned down and gave him a kiss. "Am I right or am I crazy now." were Maik's words. Kai pulled me into his chair and hugged me. "Well my dear, that's the way it is." he winked a little. "Either way, or you both finally know what you have in each other." Sam said casually with a big grin on his face. "Then I'll get Luna and Luc to eat something too, and Maik clear away from the food." she said the last one in a mean tone, Sam left and Maik's questions came. "So you two or am I wrong?" I put my head back to see Kai's face a little better. The phone rang in the hallway you could hear angry footsteps and then you could only hear someone talking softly. "Lily is for you." I didn't move a bit, closed my eyes and just let the noises around me go through me.
In the university everything was as usual only the teachers and a few students knew what was going on. "The lecture didn't seem to want to end, don't you think so?" some nodded and others just replied yes. The summer allowed us to sit outside on the lawn under a large oak that protected us from the sun.Kai saw it leaning against the trunk with me, Luna, Sam, Maik and Luc were talking excitedly and Jennifer was standing on the other side with a few friends. Her gaze kept going back to Kai and me and you could see her disgust grow stronger in every look, but that didn't bother me in the least. "Isn't that Hito back there?" Sam asked suddenly. "Where did you see her Sam." I asked because I didn't see her. "At Jen ..." I jumped up and ran over to Jenny's troop and looked for Hitomi, when I found her, they already had two idiots in the lack. "Hey you peat heads leave them alone." I said in a strong voice. "What if not…?" one of them started to ask but then broke off when he got my nasty look, gave his friend a sign and they disappeared. "You are probably not as mean to the little ones as I think." Hitomi laughed. "Not me, Hito, you should know better!" I meant with a grin. Hitomi pulled me back to the others and sat down with them. "Tell me Amber is that what you get to hear?" I looked at her inquiringly. "What do you mean, Hito?" her gaze fell on Kai who was now holding me