Absolute silence

A wonderful magic lies over the small town, which is so small that its name cannot be mentioned. Because no sooner would you mention that name than you would have forgotten it again.
Forgot.Yes, this thing about forgetting was one of those things. , and it was always the same. But, ridiculously, you just couldn't do anything about it. Hustle and bustle, and suddenly you only stop for two moments and ... the thought is gone.way.

As if he had never been there.

Little footprints of birds in the snow

Cats trying to avoid the cold

Drops of warm tea and mulled wine on the white floor.

Small children run around each other, laughing and screeching, lathering themselves with snow. Maybe they get too wet, don't get dry fast enough and catch a cold ... but it doesn't matter at that moment.

The only thing that matters is the magic of the snow.
Do you know the feeling when you walk through the snow in the morning? You can tell it's falling, but it's unheard. Quiet, more than quiet, quiet ...inaudible, unheard. How is it that snow is so quiet?

In the midst of this silence, one stands under the dimly glowing street lamp to read the time. You just wanted to stop for a moment, actually hurriedly on ... but suddenly the tower clock sounds:

gently
quietly
reassuring

like snow. A beautiful melody that thaws the frozen heart in spite of the cold and makes the hasty person pause. The perfect harmony of the moment is absolutely ... like snow. A moment that rings in your heart.

The silence, the moment is absolute.

In the middle of this square, with the many laughing people, the many tracks in the snow and the harmony of"happiness", I stand under that lantern, and notice the silence of the moment when the others are happy even though they rush across the square. In the midst of these people, me, a small, inconspicuous figure ... this contemplative silence is like a cage.
That silence that should actually be contemplative, that should allow us to find our inner satisfaction ...

However, I only find emptiness.

I stand there quietly, leaning against that lantern, and look at the falling snow in the dim lantern light. It falls very softly, you can see it coming, you can't hear it and ... it melts in my face. Like tears, it lies on my face, falls to the floor.
Defiantly I looked at the snow, not noticing my happy surroundings. I frown thoughtfully, not noticing the water on my face, which is increasingly mixing with the salt from my tears ... but I don't notice. My soaked clothes, my wet shoes, the cold sticky-damp socks, you make me tremble to my core.

But I don't notice.That one person I found but who left me again. I haven't been crying in years ... I wasn't "me". Well, I was already "I", but not the "full me". You probably already know what I mean.

I don't know how long it must have taken me to tear myself away from that lantern. In any case, it took what felt like an eternity before I got back to reality and noticed that now I would definitely get a cold more than those little children happily playing their snowball fight who had soaped themselves there in front of the town hall .

Sighing, I sat on my sofa, with a cup of tea with milk, my favorite blanket and a pack of handkerchiefs that would surely accompany me through the next few days. I busily straightened out everything; the book was ready, the ceiling was straightened. But quickly, just as I was about to grab the book with a sigh, I froze in the middle of the movement.
That emptiness came into my eyes again.[/i]

Apparently snow made everyone else happy, didn't it?
I just didn't get it.
I didn't understand anything.

I didn't understand myself.

"I'll be back soon."

Small kiss goodbye, small admonition like "Drive carefully", "Greetings to your work colleagues", a small wave. But what was really great at that moment was the longing that set in before the last contact with him was over.
The longing for him.

The snow had started to fall as he drove. It had been a cold, clear morning, heralding the first snow. As soon as he went on, I noticed the cold creeping up my feet and I went back inside. Happy things I slammed the front door.Tick Tac. Tick ​​tac.The only thing that disturbed the silence was that hideous monster of a clock that he had brought into this apartment. He who left that watch here with me.

There are three different types of silence.
The first was that silence between two lovers who seemed to be saying "I love you" in silent agreement.
The second was the silence between two discussion parties staring at each other in a heated eye duel.

The third was the one he left me in. That unbearable silence that occurs when two lovers notice it's over, everything has already been said; which occurs when in a heated duel suddenly one looks ashamed at the ground and the other realizes the extent of his audacity.
It is that silence that doesn't need to be filled, but the one that fills itself; which spreads out like a piece of rubber, ready to give up every tiny bit of space it can get.
She's pushy and you can't even defend yourself.
That silence that took away the air to breathe, that made you curl up and immobilize.This was the void he left me in.

"Hello, here I am again."

I smiled happily and quietly, and leaned out of the kitchen. It smelled of fried mushrooms and meat while I inquired about his trip. The apartment smelled of "togetherness" and "harmony" again. A silence of the first nature.

But this was only so when he was still there.

And I smiled sadly when I realized the irony of it all.

Thesilence of the snowwas a silence of harmonious nature. It was the first silence.
Thesilence of my apartmentwas a silence of intrusive nature. It was the third silence.

He was driving when it started to snow, but it had been snowing too long. What happened? I had lost my sense of time. I no longer saw the world. The only thing that mattered was his loss.

"I'm back."

I looked up in surprise. I had locked it ... with a sigh and not without a trace of indifference, I awoke from my stupor, began to peel myself from my blanket. Who should that be? I wasn't expecting anyone great. “Hello, what can I do for you?” - “I'm the new tenant next door.” I looked up in surprise, forgetting to say something. Then I smiled softly.

Even then it had been a silence of a harmonious nature.

"I'm back."

I look up in surprise. I've locked it ... Funny, who can that still be at this time of day? I walk slowly to the door until I stop in surprise. Drop the ceiling in horror.

"What is it? No smile, no hug?"

There he stands, in person, and is there again. How could that be? Hadn't he been gone that long?
And all of a sudden a jolt goes through me. Put me in motion and fall into his arms smiling.

"There you are again," I say softly.

It sounds a little hoarse. Only then do I notice that these are the first words that I seem to have spoken for a long time.
But it doesn't matter. He just holds me in his arms and warms my trembling body.

Only now, in hindsight, do I understand. He wasn't gone long, it wasn't even a day since he left. But in the snow of the square I forgot everything around me when I stood under that lantern. Most of all, I forgot the time, because it was the silence that held me captive.

And yes, it was a silence of the first nature. Just like now.

The absolute silence.
The moment of harmony.

_____________

Hello,

now that you are at the end, I hope you enjoyed it. Just to be clear ... the first person perspective is not related to me>. Well, enough of the words ... I ask for some constructive criticism (and if I can't find anything to complain about ... also write a commi; D)love greetings, your hydrangea