I didn't have to worry.
"Naruto! I know that you are there! Please open the door!" Sasuke's muffled voice penetrated my ears.
I dug my teeth into my already battered flesh and more blood immediately flowed from the wound. Pain ran through my body, preventing me from getting up and opening the door. I brutally tore my teeth out of my flesh and suppressed an outcry with difficulty.I sank my mouth into the wound, greedily licking my blood - repulsive behavior I had learned long ago. Suddenly there was a loud bang.
Fast steps flitted through my apartment accompanied by your shouting. I quickly grabbed my kunai and tried to get up. Suddenly you stood in the door frame and looked at me with an indefinable look.
Now it was all over! Now you had seen my real "I", now you would despise me just as much as everyone else. I sat up completely swaying, my legs trembling.
Blood ran down my chin and I automatically licked my lips. You took a step towards me.
Immediately I held the kunai ready in front of me with my right arm. But you didn't care, you didn't even flinch. "Stay away from me! I shouted but you didn't listen to me." Sasuke! I'm serious! Stay away from me! "My voice became more and more desperate.
You were almost standing in front of me now, getting closer and closer. "LaSs MiCh !!" I yelled at you but you pretended not to have heard my words. "GET OFF!" I shouted, took a step towards you and rammed the kunai into your left upper arm, from my point of view . Again, you didn't change your face. With horror I realized WHAT I had just done and I stumbled back.
I swayed, could barely stand on my feet. I watched you pull the kunai out of your arms and for a split second you grimaced in pain. "Please Sasuke, just go .." I whispered softly and swayed dangerously. But you didn't move a millimeter, just continued to look at me with that look that I couldn't read. I felt dizzy, my vision blurred, I must have lost too much blood. You came up to me, now you stood right in front of me. I tried to push you away but I was too weak and you just hugged me.
Exactly at the moment when my legs finally gave way and I collapsed. I hung powerless in your arms, counting on the fact that you would let me fall at any moment, but you let yourself slowly sink onto the floor and bed my head on your chest. I felt the soothing warmth that your body radiated, heard your heartbeat-bubumbubum ~ bubumbubum and again bubumbubum ~ bubumbubum.
Your regular heartbeat calmed me down and yet I started to tremble, tears were running down my cheeks and I tried not to show anything.
But you didn't let yourself be fooled, you reached under my chin and gently pushed my head upwards so that I had to look into your face. No! I did not want to!
I don't want you to see me like that, I quickly closed my eyes and shook my head. "Sasuke ... l-let go of me .... d-your clothes w-get very dirty ..." I choked out with a pressed voice and the tears found their way under my closed songs until they finally got hot my cheeks rolled."Naruto, please look at me" you said and I could feel your warm breath on my face. I shook my head again.
More tears made their way, I bit my lip.
Suddenly I felt your hot breath beating against my lips and just a fraction of a second later I felt you gently rest your lips on mine.
Startled, I widened my eyes, looked into your face. You had your eyes closed, I relaxed a little and closed my eyes a bit. Your songs flickered - you opened your eyes a little. We looked at each other with half-closed songs, threatened to sink into one another.
What was that tingling feeling that suddenly shot through every cell in my body? I didn't know it, never felt it before.
Slowly you loosened your lips from mine again. Your mouth was suddenly smeared with blood, I frowned slightly until I realized that I must look even worse myself. I brought my hand to my mouth and placed the tip of my index finger lightly between my lips for a brief moment. I took my finger out again and looked at it - fresh blood was on it.
Just as I was about to lick it off, you leaned over, took my finger in your mouth and began to gently suck the blood off. I felt my face getting hot and concluded that I must have just turned the color of a tomato.
You licked my finger one last time, then released it again and a smile crossed your face when you raised your eyes and looked at me again. But as quickly as it had come, just as quickly, it disappeared again, deviating from the look from before the meaning of which I could not guess. I wanted to turn my head but your hand was still on my chin. I dropped my eyes, didn't know what to do. Slowly you took your hand from my chin and placed it on my thigh.
Silence spread across the room, like cotton wool on my ears.
I began to shiver, and for some inexplicable reason I suddenly felt terrible. My vision blurred again and I felt so dizzy as if I was just balancing on a wire rope floating over a hundreds of meters deep gorge. I gasped, bowed my head slightly, and leaned forward, propping myself on the floor with one hand. The shaking got worse, I couldn't control it anymore. At first I tried to suppress it, but now it literally shook my body.
I couldn't stop it any longer, I wanted to prevent it somehow, but I couldn't stop it any longer, my eyes went black.
When I woke up after what felt like an eternity, the sun had already set, a few candles lit the room. I wanted to sit up but immediately everything began to spin again. "Not Naru! You have to lie down, you mustn't get up yet otherwise you will pass out again!""you said softly but firmly.
I turned my head and saw you sitting in a chair next to my bed. "Sasuke ..." I whispered softly and it was more of a question than a statement. "When you passed out I cleaned you up, bandaged your arm and then laid you in bed. And I cleaned up something here, it couldn't stay the way it looked here," you said softly to me and gently caressed me forehead.
I enjoyed your touch, closed my eyes and sighed softly. "Naru ...... I'm so sorry for everything ......" you whispered next to me and I opened my eyes again. “What?” I asked, stunned, staring at you as if you had just told me for the first time that the earth wasn't flat. "I'm sorry ...!" You whispered again and gently stroked my cheeks with both hands.
I raised my hands and put them on top of yours and only now did I realize that I was crying again. "You haven't done anything!" I whispered barely audible in a choked voice and tried to look at you. After a short silence you answered: "That's it, Naru! I had known for a long time how bad you were and I did nothing to help you ..." - the self-reproach in your voice was not to overhear.
Again I tried to get up but you gently pushed me back into the pillows. "That is not true!" I protested, visibly indignant, and added: "You are like a brother to me, you were always there for me!"
"Oh Naru ......." you sighed softly, leaned over me and hugged me a little awkwardly. I hugged back, turned on my side and with a startled "Ah! -What ?!" on your part you landed next to me on the mattress.
I fiddled with the covers until I could finally pull them over both of us. Looking for protection like a little kitten, I snuggled up against you and began to purr softly against my will.
"Naruto .... please promise me that you will never do that again ..... oky ...?" You said after a few minutes and I felt your warm breath on my neck.
Unable to move, I just growled in an incomprehensible manner, which should mean "promised". "Naru ...! You said in a stern voice.
I raised my head and looked you innocently in the eye. In your eyes there was concern and something else that I couldn't interpret. "V-promised" I mumbled softly, licked your cheek gently with my tongue and buried my head in the crook of your neck. I heard your soft laugh, then you whispered in my ear: "I will protect you Naru ..... we will stay together forever - I promise you ...". I smiled slightly, then sank back into a dreamless sleep ..........

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Flash bach end * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

I had held out for so long.
So long hoped, desperately hoped .... - hoped in vain that you would come back.Against all the rules of reason, I had clung to a childhood promise, even though I knew deep down in my heart that you would not keep it.
I didn't care about anything now, I was confused, hurt, lost.
The only thing I knew for sure was that my life without you was empty and bleak. Without you my life had no meaning anymore - nobody would miss me.
If I would go on living I would just have to endure more pain and suffering, but I just had no more strength
I got up without a sound, went into the kitchen and got a slip of paper and a pen, went back to my room and sat down on the windowsill again.
For a few seconds I didn't know where to start, whether there was any point in writing this letter to you, since you would probably never read it ...... but I couldn't help it ... I sat down put the pen on the paper, took another deep breath and began to open my heart to you - to reveal my feelings to you.
I wrote down what I wanted to tell you all these years, but didn't get it right.

Dear Sasuke,

Nobody is as beautiful as you
Nobody is as cruel as you.

The only thing I have in this
Labyrinth with no way out ...
... had found for me ...

... I have in one
Moment,
of your smile and your eyes
lost.

I just wish
to breathe the same air as you
Bleeding with you too
can and ...
to be your shadow

Shouldn't even me this
be allowed,
then I wish ...
... to die with you
can.

You alone gave my life one
Meaning and you have it with you
taken when you disappeared ...

I love you Sasuke ...
...I have always loved you...

... it means nothing to me ...
... a