I don't know how long I've been here. I have no idea how much my arms and legs are already hurting. I feel like everything is falling away from me. All the joy I've had for years All the hope of salvation. All of this seems less important to me. But how did this come about.

I still remember it all started 4 days ago. a day that should change everyone's life in this world. The day of the final fight. It was a fight between me and my brother. Between me and Hao, an actually even fight. we fought a long time. Maybe 2 or 3 hours, but every fight in the end brought me closer to my defeat. Because I had barely managed to go from the defensive to the offensive. This happened, which one might have feared. My Furyoku, that power that should never run out in the shaman fight, came to an end.
At that time I fell to the ground exhausted, was desperate and hadn't known how to proceed. Above my head, I had heard his hateful laughter and it was clear to me that I had lost my spirit form. Lost. Lost to the one whom I determined by my fate, as a member of the Asakura family, should have defeated. But I failed.

And now, now I'm lying here. Forced to lie on a cold stone floor without clothes, only in underpants, completely unable to move. The only thing I can do is wait and hope. But is there still hope at all? Did it ever exist or was everything so determined. Should one believe in fate or condemn it. I do not know it anymore. I lost my senses like never before. That will to live that I had radiated the whole time before.
but how could I sink so far that this could be done to me? I still don't understand it exactly, but I know that it started this afternoon.

Finally, after 3 days in complete darkness, without anyone. He had had me taken out of the dungeon and brought to him. In this situation I had hoped to get a chance to escape. But nothing had helped, they had a firm grip on me and even brought me to my knees in front of Hao.

but I still remember exactly that at this point my will was not broken. I wanted to fight, wanted to overthrow the current Shaman King, to give the world a better future than Hao would ever do.
"Don't you dare to fight back, Yoh", these were Hao's words that he had said to me directly when I was on my knees in front of him. He seemed to be triumphant. Whether he was grinning or looking down at me in disdain, I couldn't see, as I hadn't been allowed to raise my head to look my own twin in the face.

"Because every further defense would only make the whole thing more unbearable for you, as well as for those you called friends", he had spoken to me before he showed me one of his illusions and explained it to me :"Look at this carefully.Do you see your friends all turn away from you and leave. they didn't care if you win or lose. You were just a puppet to them, an object they needed to get ready for you. "

Suddenly I was let go, which I use to get back on my feet. but as soon as I looked up, I saw the pictures Hao had told me about before. but not only did I see this, I also saw how Manta, my best friend, was harassed."Take a close look at this, Yoh. The survival of this little man is in your hands, because only if you do what I want will I let him survive", Hao threatened me. Threatened me with the life of the boy who had made my life the joyful life I had wished for. But if that wasn't bad enough, Hao forced me to put my things down except for my underpants. I refused, but when I then had to see through his illusion that predicted Manta's death for me, I had no choice.

Dejected, I did what I was told, only to be knocked hard by Hao to the ground. I had hardly given a note of pain, however, when he began to pull my arms back and cuff my hands, just as he cuffed my elbows to prevent movement of the shoulder. only now did he begin to devote himself to the feet with which I had still tried to wriggle out of his grasp. but he continued. cuffed my legs above and below the knees and tied my ankles tightly.

Hoping that everything would be over now, I took a deep breath before I suddenly felt Hao jerkily pulling my legs to my hands and forcing myself to form a hollow back, which caused the abdominal muscles that I had trained through Anna's training to Came out.
My face must have been twisted in pain. But Hao didn't seem to mind, he pulled tighter and tighter until I suddenly started whimpering that he should stop. However, it didn't last long to whimper, because when he pulled even tighter, I screamed and just announced that he should stop this. However, Hao replied, who had insisted on taking off his cloak beforehand and thereby also showing a well-built body:"You think that this already hurts, Yoh? But you were wrong, because you will there will be much more pain in the near future if you do not submit to me and serve under me. My beloved brother "

"My beloved brother," those words had sounded even more ironic from Hao's mouth than they ever could. But I couldn't fight back not without risking a friend's life. But I would never serve him. I would never give up completely.That's what I thought at the time. If only I had known back then what he was going to do.

After an estimated 10 minutes he finally tied the last knot and had me thrown back into my cell. I only heard his laugh when I took it out. Laughing that I heard when I was defeated. That laugh that almost every villain could do. but Hao wasn't just a villain. he was the villain and you could tell that just by laughing.

That's how I ended up here. Shackled, freezing, and wondering what the right way to go. The way that I should go
During this time I kept counting the drops of water falling on the ground. They are probably the only noise that can distract me from the pain that the bonds cause or that can simply send my thoughts on another journey. a trip that mostly turns out to be a wishful thought. Because especially this night, it seems to me to be denied to be able to sleep. Seems to me to be denied to lead my life without pain. but I don't want to give up yet. I have to fight, fight for the good of everyone. But how am I supposed to free this dungeon? how am I supposed to break the fetters that hold me?

Hours go by, or was it just minutes? it seems like I'm slowly losing track of time. I can no longer estimate how long I must have been lying here. Even the trembling from the beginning is slowly subsiding and gives me hope for a quick morning or that through the cold I will soon forget those pains that cloud my senses and let me gain no clear thoughts.

Again hours pass and the night still never ends. it seems like it has started to rain heavily outside as the sound of dripping water increased.
Rain, how much I had liked this element so far, and when I had the opportunity, how much I sat outside and watched the raindrops. I was always impressed by nature. but right here. Just in this cell, should that element be the last thing I should see and hear for my own sake? No, I can't believe that. But I have to believe it.

Just like I have to believe that I was left standing by everyone. None of my friends seem to want to move a finger to save me. But is this friendship or was I really just taken advantage of. I miss everyone, but there is no time to miss here. Here there is only me and my thoughts, those thoughts that even the rain can no longer distract, that even praise could no longer carry away from me.

I was trapped, but not only was my body trapped, but also my soul. while my body was shackled, my mind was shackled. No longer free to decide what was best.No longer free to choose where to go.
My coldness had increased by now, as had my doubts about the friendship of the other. I couldn't know whether my friends still stood by me or whether they loathed me. Just this thought made me go crazy along with the pain. But none of this was of any use, because the rope cut into my skin and made my pain even worse. So I tried to hunch over in pain. But that didn't work. Because it hurt my whole back, just like my injured wrists. At this point it is my greatest wish to just be able to sleep and forget all the suffering of the past few hours. but I was not spared it. I had to dream about these. but what I was dreaming tore the ground from under my feet.

Suddenly I was facing all of my friends. Tried to call for them. but no one answered me. I had screamed louder, but no one helped me there either. So that I was standing there alone, facing all my friends who had turned away and probably no longer wanted to see me. but especially for me this dream was bad. But what if he showed the truth? What if nobody wanted to save me? had all my rebellion been in vain then? Had the whole fight been in vain? what should i do? should I go forward or backward? should I stick to the past or the future? Should I believe in now or then?

Everything seemed so far away before my eyes. As if there was nothing left to support me. There would be nothing left to keep me alive even in the slightest way. I just wanted to die. Not to escape the pain, no to escape the uncertainty. That uncertainty that tormented me more and more every second. I would like to scream, but right now, no sound wanted to escape my throat. So that I was forced to keep silent and cry in tears.

I had spent the night with these tears. I hardly knew whether to greet the new day. When the sun threw its first rays through the small barred window of my cell and woke me up with it.
I was still tied up, but now sure that the only way to avoid suffering more pain was that of enslavement.

So i waited. waited for Hao, who would surely come soon. Waited for the promise. Waited for the step that I had just denied the previous evening.
And then the time had come, Hao entered my cell and asked me spitefully:[b]"And is it comfortable, brother, I hope so, because you will spend a long time like this if you don't