I cautiously creep down the hall. Not that there was someone I could disturb. No, I am silent so as not to destroy this atmosphere, as much as it worries me. It's one of those nights when you feel very small again, so alone and afraid that you make your way to your parents' bedroom to sleep with them.
But I'm not six years old anymore, I'm grown up and above that. Nevertheless, this oppressive feeling remains, which is why I roam restlessly through the apartment. It is deep night outside and black clouds hang in the dark sky. The rain pelts incessantly on the sodden ground. It's been raining for three days now. I stop and look out into the little garden. All tenants can use it, and barbecues are often held here in summer, but now, at the end of autumn, there is hardly any opportunity to stay outside longer. In the middle of the lawn there is an old apple tree whose long, thick branches are often used by the children Climbing frames can be used. Sublime he stretches up to the sky, but I don't see his sight as usual, majestic and protective. In my eyes it looks threatening.
I shake my head in disapproval, it's just ridiculous. My mind doesn't help me, and the oppressive feeling remains as I turn my gaze and continue on my way. Why do I behave so childishly? At almost twenty-one, I should be able to stand above something like that. After all, it's just a completely normal autumn storm.
Finally I run into the kitchen and turn on the light switch. With a short flicker, the ceiling lamp switches on and shrouds the room in a bright glow. I make myself a cup of coffee to calm my nerves, and when the usual rattle sets in, I actually relax again.
Carelessly, I put my empty cup in the sink and turn off the light. Back in the hallway, I feel my way along the walls, I don't dare to turn on the light. Again I am ashamed of my fears and go to bed. This time I actually find sleep, even if it's not very restful.